By The Kayseean Staff
After a thorough investigation led by reporters at The Kayseean, a political conflict amongst the critters of the Oval was uncovered. We have found that many of the major players within the critter community are beginning to retaliate against each other due to a single common factor.
Over last summer, a large, dead, oak tree that had long stood proudly at the center of the Oval was cut down and removed. The action sparked outrage throughout the critter communities on campus. While some members were happy to see the tree fall, content within the shelter of King’s buildings, other groups of the creature community were enraged at the loss of the traditional landmark. To gain a better understanding of the factions that have been uncovered right on the Oval through our investigation see their full descriptions below.
The Squirrels are the most active of the factions. Running their operations from White Hall they hold the loss of their home in the large oak tree deep in their hearts. While stressed from the loss of their original home of operations, the squirrels have become aggravated with the ticks. The squirrels see the tick faction as nothing more than food. Aggravation with this group began with their push for seniority. After eating ticks their whole lives, the squirrels believe the size of the ticks belittles any cause or fight they may have.
The tick faction are the smallest of the four, housed in Sells Hall, you can often recognize them by their battle cry, a sharp whining noise which can be heard nearly constantly throughout the building. The ticks want full seniority over the other factions, believing themselves to be superior to the other critter groups, which they believe they can control through their blood-sucking parasitic nature. The ticks were happy to see the tree go, and the dismay of the squirrels, their predator, which followed the loss of their home. The ticks are perfectly content within Sells, though they suspect the ever-rising temperatures of the building to be the work of the squirrels, tampering with the heating systems as a means of warfare. The predatory faction seems to be exploiting the ticks one weakness; exploding in extreme heat.
Found in the Fine Arts Building, the bat faction has named itself to be the governing body for negotiations between the other camps. They have taken a neutral position amongst the groups, since the bats’ strongest bonds are amongst themselves, allowing them to remain free of bias. The bats, made up of mostly Little Brown Bats, have formed a practical alliance with the birds, named the Flying Animal Alliance (FAA), enlisting their help to gain intelligence about the other factions. The bats took it upon themselves to monitor the nightlife using their excellent echolocation skills to navigate the campus and keep track of any movement being cloaked by nightfall. Combined, their information is used to glean the truth behind the other critters’ motivations and grievances in order to be better leaders in negotiating terms of a peace treaty.
Up within the rafters of the E.W. King Library building can be found the fourth and final faction uncovered by the investigation, the birds. The formal stance of the birds is to maintain their position within the FAA, having worked with the bats to monitor the movements of the other factions during the day. However, many members of the faction have expressed frustration with the alliance’s neutral stance in the conflict. Unlike the bats, many birds lost their homes when the tree was removed from the Oval. The woodpeckers appear to be a particularly loud party within the faction, having spent much time drilling purposefully placed holes into the bark; their position is publicly defended by the vocal Whip-poor-wills. The ducks of the reflection pool refused to comment on the controversy.
The bats have planned to initiate negotiations between the ticks and the squirrels this evening in Maclellan Hall, with the plan of having all factions realize that the tree was removed for genuine safety concerns. The FAA hopes to bring about peace on the Oval once again. If you have any more information on the critters of campus and would like to contribute to the story, follow us on Instagram @TheKayseean
To join in on the fun, post a picture of your favorite critter around campus and use the hashtag #CrittersOnTheOval